Does vulgar language on television make leave you clutching your pearls? Have you longed for family entertainment where a friendly censor has snuffed out the naughty words people use? Are you still living in the past century? Good news! The Television Guardian is here to protect and serve. By decoding the captioning encoded in the television signal ahead of when it is played as audio, the Television Guardian would mute the sound before it got to the objectionable language and replace it with an altogether more acceptable alternative on-screen caption.

Most censorship in the UK happens quietly and goes unnoticed.

Attention has been grabbed recently by Margaret Atwood’s auction of a fireproof copy of her work, “The Handmaid’s Tale”, the fire resistance of which she demonstrated in her usual spectacular style on camera with a blowtorch. It makes both fascinating viewing and a serious statement about the need to resist censorship.